First 10 Days of RV living

Let me begin by saying, I’m so happy I don’t have kids! Of all the things I’ve been taking care of, it would have been a million times harder with a kid running around, getting in the way.

Okay, now that that’s out of my system, here goes.

We bought the RV from my man’s mom and stepdad, so it’s obviously used and has been sitting out in the Nevada elements for a good long while, so that will take quite a toll on any vehicle. But, it took us three days to drive from Texas to Oregon, and three long days at that, considering the moving truck only being able to come over mountain passes at 35mph.

We filled a 26 foot Penske moving truck (Penske really took care of us for the costs of the truck and car carrier!) with our stuff, and we had some stuff in the back of my man’s personal truck. When we got to Nevada at the end of the second day to pick up the camper, we unloaded most of the bulky things we had in his mom’s garage so we wouldn’t have to get a big storage unit, which will save us money.

So, we got here and we had already had an RV park accept our application so we knew where to set up. We got checked in, and we immediately had to go get a small storage unit for the rest of our things so we could return the moving truck to Penske. I had an interview that day, so I wasn’t here to help load the storage unit or start setting up the camper, but my man graciously did that. So I came back and started to unload the boxes of things we were going to keep in the camper, and my man started hooking up our resources. Lo and behold, most of the water fixtures leaked and the electricity wasn’t cooperating. So we had to go out and buy some parts (which are expensive!) and we got it functional for the night.

The next two days were also filled with repairs and part replacements and an interview for BF, which led to him getting a job! While he worked on the repairs, I worked on organizing our things and trying to find places for everything. The camper we have has a full size bed, which fits our queen sized mattress but it overhangs at the bottom. There are two bunk beds across the length of the camper, which we are using for storage thanks to not having kids. The bottom bunk holds our deep freezer and my nightstand and our vacuum, and the top bunk holds towels and small miscellaneous items we couldn’t find a place for. There is a floor-to-ceiling pantry which we loaded with food and we put our plates, bowls, and coffee mugs in the cabinet over the sink. We bought a set of utensils and put them in the drawers under the sink, along with some packaged spices. (Note: we have a whole box of spices that are sitting on the floor near the couch because we haven’t found a spice rack at the store yet.) Our rifles and pistols are under one of the bench seats by the table, and our pots and pans are under the other bench seat. We’re obviously keeping the couch area free since there is no storage under it, and we bought a coffee table to sit in front of the couch. Our drinking glasses are on the counter between the stove and the exterior wall, along with the knife set and coffee maker. Cookbooks and some cleaning stuff is under the sink. Clothes are…. just about everywhere actually. There’s a closet, drawers under it, a smaller floor closet near the door, and two closets and nightstand space near the head of the bed, all of which we have stuffed with clothes. You never really think about how many clothes and shoes you have until you need to find space for them in an RV.

Long story short, we got a place for almost everything we have with the additional room in the storage unit and a tough box under the camper.

We’ve been having issues making the camper level, and with all the water fixtures over the last ten days. I have no idea how to fix them, so I’ve been letting BF do that, which he has done without complaint. Even when we have to go out and spend MORE money on parts, even when I’m concerned about the RV not holding enough weight, he hasn’t complained. He just finishes the job. He’s been so patient with everything, and I greatly appreciate him for that.

The cable is free here at this park, although it’s analog channels so we don’t get up to date times on everything and we have a very limited selection. Wifi is also free but the area we’re in is in kind of a dark spot so we’ve been using BF’s mobile data for netflix. I’ve been using the shower at the office provided by the park so I don’t run out of hot water, but the shower in the rv will work just fine for short rinse-offs.

So far, that’s been about it. Lots of small issues that we’ve taken care of, except for me getting a job.

Repulsive

I had to leave the group Childfree Chicks Confidential on facebook today. 😦 I love that group and being a part of it, but being around people who think the same as I do makes the way I feel about kids cement into my brain. I mean, I’m pretty stuck on the “Despise Children” setting anyway, but knowing that there are so many other women who feel the same way really tears away the handle on that switch so there’s no going back to “Kids? Whatever.”

The last post I read on that page is that one of the women thinks it’s cute to see a man holding a baby. Me? It’s actually pretty repulsive. For example, whenever I see my man, no matter what he’s wearing or what he’s doing, I can’t help but stare. I am incredibly attracted to him. But when his kid was here and ran into a wall and my man picked him up to comfort him… I almost couldn’t hide the scowl on my face. My man became incredibly unattractive just in that one action. If my man were to hold a puppy or a kitten, I’d still be completely attracted. But a kid? GTFO.

I’m so glad I have this blog. I’m not sure whether you all actually read these or they’re more like a diary, but my blog is safe. My man doesn’t even read the posts I WANT him to read, much less every post I create. And right now, I really appreciate that I can put all my true thoughts out here and I know I won’t hurt his feelings. Maybe it helps me to get my thoughts out. Don’t get me wrong, I want these thoughts to change. I love my man with my entire being. But the fact that he has a kid and claims another one as his own too… it feels like a punishment to me.

I’ve always said, “I’m not a Christian. I have a relationship with God.” The word Christian connotes a lot of judgment and hypocrisy. But my relationship with God fits me. But when I was having trouble finding a good man, I turned to God and asked Him to bring my perfect man into my life. I asked Him for specific things that I would like in a man. And weirdly enough, that’s when my man came into my life. A mutual friend of ours texted me and asked me if I was still looking for someone. My man had never spent free time with that friend before, and I hadn’t heard from that friend in well over a year. It just felt like my prayer had been answered when I went on that first date. But then he told me he has “kids”, and I only put it in quotes because only one of them is biologically his.

It’s no secret that I despise children. In fact, one of the first questions I asked my man is if he had kids, and honestly I should have walked away when he said yes. I really should have. But his personality is so perfect for me. I really feel like we’re supposed to be together. But the fact that he has kids? It feels like God opened up the sky and said “Here ya go. Here’s what you asked for. But fuck you for asking, your man has kids.” I feel like I’m being punished for asking for what I wanted. I thought that you’re supposed to ask Him for what you want. God knows trying to find a man on my own was just getting me heartbroken over and over.

I really don’t know what to do. I love this man, but the baby mama and the kids are killing me… What can I do? I don’t want all this drama with the BM and the kids… I want to be number one in his life. I deserve someone who puts me first…. but I don’t want to leave this one because I know there won’t be anyone else like him out there. And honestly, I don’t think there’s any changing how much I despise kids. That’s just the way I am.

To whoever is reading this, any advice is greatly appreciated.

This sucks

My boyfriend is dating a chick who’s most likely missing a piece of her soul.
I’m head over heels for this dude. But I’m having a really hard time changing to accommodate the fact that he has a son. I don’t like kids. I’m so worried that I’m not going to be able to handle his son and then I’m going to lose him.

I met his two nieces and nephew when we drove to Nevada to see his family. And I was okay with them, although I did get pretty irritated fairly quickly with the older two. My boyfriend keeps telling me that I’m gonna love his son because he’s a good kid. And I really want to come to love the kid, especially if it means getting him away from his shitbag mother.

But I’ve never seen myself with kids. And honestly I don’t know how to change and grow up enough to make this all work. I’m so scared that I’m going to ruin my relationship with the man I honestly feel could be The One. The Real One.

If anyone could offer advice on how to grow up mentally, I would really appreciate it. I don’t want to lose this man.

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Excited or nervous?

I’m taking two of my last four vacation days this Friday and Monday to drive up from Texas to Nevada with my boyfriend to meet his family for the first time. He and I have only been together about three months, but I’m already so in love, and from what he tells me it’s the same feeling for him. He’s met my parents and they loved each other, and now I get to meet his mom and stepdad, brother, and sister in law. Its going to be a long drive and only two days with them, but I’m so excited! Nervous because I want them to like me so much, I want them to know we’re a better match for each other than my boyfriend and his ex together. I don’t know what to do! Lol. I hope this is going to be an amazing weekend and a wonderful bonding experience for me and my man.

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