Sex on a first date

Just saw an article about why you should always have sex on the first date. Basically they were all about seeing if it’s worth it.
Our society is really screwed up now. If the ability of your possible future partner is all you care about, you’re a really shitty human being. A relationship is about caring about the other person and them caring for you. Sex isn’t all life is about. It’s about chasing your dreams. If you get to know someone and date them and eventually fall in love with them, the sex will be fine. But it should come later. If all you’re focused on is sex, your priorities are way out of whack. We really need to take the focus off sex. Sex isn’t the goal. The goal is finding someone whose personality and who they are makes you want to be a better person.

Realization

I just realized I’m scared to get too attached to my boyfriend.

He has kids. That scares me, because I don’t like kids. Never wanted them. And now I’ve found and fallen in love with this man, but he has kids. And I’m afraid to get too attached to him in case I can’t handle the kids. I don’t want to be ruined by a breakup after I’ve been so happy.

He makes me incredibly happy. And it scares the ever loving shit out of me to think about losing him. So I guess it comforts me a little to try not to get so attached to him or curb my attachment to him in case I can’t accept that part of his life.

What’s a girl to do?

Lonely.

I just realized how lonely I am. I have a wonderful boyfriend with whom I am very in love. I still live with my parents until I can save up enough money to move to my dream city so I’m never really home alone. I have friends.

But I’m lonely. My boyfriend goes to bed early sometimes because he’s in the army and has to get up super early for PT and such. And my friends all have evening or night jobs, while I have the standard 8-5 job. It’s not that I’m tired of seeing my boyfriend after work when he’s available, but I don’t want him to get tired of me. And I don’t want to get too attached to him because then I get too anxious when he isn’t around.

I’ve never really had a ton of friends. I don’t “mesh” with most people, and I have one of those personalities where, when I’m unhappy, lots of things annoy me and I just want to go home.

So, either I need to figure out how to be more optimistic in life, or I need new friends, or I need to be able to sleep less so I can see my friends after they get off work.

I wish I could just be happy. But I lose sight of all the things I have now and look at how much I want the life I don’t have right now.

FML.