2 random thoughts

1- have you ever stopped to think about how we introduce ourselves or someone else? We say “this is _____”. This. Like we’re objects instead of people. It makes me think “THIS thing is called _____”. I don’t know. I was just thinking about it today and it seemed weird to me.


2- networking is awesome. In this world, it’s WHO you know that matters. When two owners of companies know each other, they tend to use each other’s companies for what they need. For example, the warehouse manager at my office knows some guy who owns a furniture company. When we need new furniture (like I do, since we made space for an office for me in September 2013 even though I’ve been full time here since May 2013) my manager orders it from the guy he knows. Do you know how much furniture I’ve gotten since we ordered that furniture in the last week of November 2013? A temporary desk and chair that they delivered two weeks ago. Don’t you think that when a friend of yours supports your business, you’d make extra efforts to fill their order above people you don’t really know all that well? Apparently this guy doesn’t, because it’s almost February and we don’t know where my furniture is. They lied to us three weeks ago when they said my furniture would be in that week. Straight up lied to our faces. I suppose he’s poking ass because he knows my manager is going to keep using this company for our furniture because they’re buddies. But that’s really not cool. I have to find spare computers to use because we can’t set up mine because I don’t have a real desk to put it on. Not cool.

Day 11 of the 30 Day Somethings Challenge

Day 11: Something about which people seem to compliment you.


Most people say I have a great smile. I’m not really sure why, I’ve never seen my smile as any different or better than anyone else’s. My teeth aren’t spectacularly white, although they are straight thanks to four years of braces. When my permanent teeth were coming in, I always thought that my canine teeth seemed to be a bit sharper than I see in other people, but it’s not like I have real “fangs” that would change my smile.

Perhaps it’s because my smile is somewhat rare nowadays– my real and true smile that is. I can fake a smile with the best of them when I’m down, and perhaps it is that real smile that gets to people- when they catch me at a rare moment of true joy before it dwindles away.


Random thought over.

Day 15 of the “Somethings” 30Day Challenge

Day 15: A band/musical artist whose music impacted your life.

Of course, I’m going to have to write about Avenged Sevenfold here. Until my senior year in high school (which ended in 2009), I had no idea who Avenged Sevenfold was or what their music was like. But my boyfriend at the time introduced me to them with the song Dear God, and my best friend gave me a copy of Trashed and Scattered. I was in love. Music-gasm love.

I play cello, so I’m very into classical music and subtle harmonies and time signatures and key signatures and accidentals. Most artists nowadays have no idea what these elements of music are. But Avenged Sevenfold utilizes everything that makes me love music. Their time changes and accidentals and harmonies.. oh, the harmonies between Synyster Gates and Zacky Vengeance and their guitars.. to me, it’s amazing. And it’s… well, I’m not exactly sure what kind of genre they are.. hard rock? Alternative? Metal? Whatever they’re considered, they have rough beats and slow melodies alike, harmonies and screaming.

And they actually have somewhat of a Biblical vibe every once in awhile. Dear God, Afterlife, Beast and the Harlot (which includes a line, “Fallen Now Is Babylon the Great), although they do have some songs that completely go against everything Christian (A Little Piece of Heaven, Requiem). Either way, their lyrics are very deep at times and there are several songs that have lyrics that hit a chord in my very soul.

Honestly, I could listen to Avenged Sevenfold all day, every day, for the rest of my life and not get tired of listening to them.

Honorable Mentions: Demon Hunter (Christian Metal!!! Yes!!!) , Skillet (Christian Rock!)
These two bands are a close second and third when it comes to favorites.

Day 4 of the “Somethings” 30Day Writing Challenge

I know I’m supposed to start with Day 1, but I looked at the list and since I don’t have oodles of time right now to write the first three days, I think I’m going to do this out of order and write the day’s prompt with whatever hits me the hardest and seems the easiest to write that day. So! Here we go.


Day 4: something that is part of your routine that you enjoy

Sleep is obviously part of my everyday routine. I can’t function without sleep; if I don’t get enough sleep or if it’s the end of the day and my body is telling me it’s bedtime, nothing is good anymore except the idea of sleep. I LOVE cuddling, and when I’m sleepy, the only cuddling I want to do is cuddling while I sleep or to put me to sleep.

I think the reason why I chose this today is because right now, I’m not looking at things very optimistically. I’m trying to be positive and look at things in a positive light and enjoy the simple pleasures, but overall I’m not enjoying a whole lot. I don’t like where I live, and I’m working on saving up more money to be able to move, but that goal is still a long way off. I’m currently single, and I’m at a stage where if I don’t have a significant other, I’m not as happy. Finding The One is definitely part of my life goal, and I’m very impatient so the fact that I don’t have any idea of who he is is upsetting me. I still live with my parents, and they still treat me like a child a lot and that’s really upsetting to me. I know I’m not all that old (22 until July) but I feel like I should at least be treated like an adult even though I’m living with them. Although, I’m not paying them rent so I suppose it makes sense. I’m very thankful I have a job, but I feel very unimportant at my job because I don’t really have a position here. I fill in for the girls in administration when they go out on vacation or take a sick day, and other than that, I’m doing busy work like filing or shredding paperwork just to have me filling my time and earning my pay.

So, sleep is the one thing I truly look forward to in my routine at the moment. I love to get into a cold bed and feel it warm up around me and cuddle under my blankets and hold my stuffed wolf close to my chest. I love putting my face on that pillow and taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. I love the idea of going unconscious for a few hours, so I don’t have to deal with someone telling me I’m not doing my busy work right or telling me to put down my phone (when you’re doing busy work, your texting is the only thing keeping your brain from becoming mush) or hearing everyone call you by the name of whoever you’re filling in for (they’re joking, I know, but that really doesn’t feel very good). I’m not a people person, and until I get an office of my own (they ordered my furniture in late November and it still hasn’t arrived) I have to float around to any vacant office and I don’t really get a whole lot of time to myself. Sleep is that time where it’s just me and God and whatever my brain decides to draw that night. Sometimes they’re nightmares, but at least they’ll end eventually. And it’s always different when you’re dreaming. Have you ever had the same dream twice? I haven’t. and that’s what makes sleep awesome. You never know what you’re gonna get (quite like Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates). Sleep is my retreat from my life that I want to change so many things to meet the goals I’ve made for myself but don’t have the resources for yet.

Romance scene from “The Hand That Gives The Rose”


NOTE: Erotic Content. Reader discretion advised.

I think I’ve always wanted to use the “discretion advised” warning!

Patiently, with a light touch, Lucy lightly touched Aimee’s breasts, feeling them peak with anticipation. Aimee shivered, and Lucy asked, “Are you warm enough, my love? Perhaps I should start the heater?”

“I would like that, it is a bit cold in here,” Aimee said, letting Lucy’s long hair run through her fingers when she stepped away.

When Lucy was facing her again, walking toward her from the other side of the big room, Aimee looked her over from head to toe, letting her eyes linger on the curves of her soon-to-be lover’s body. She wasn’t sure if she was forcing herself to or if the thoughts were genuine, but she wanted her hands to know those curves and to feel her lips on Lucy’s skin. Her bra was still unclipped, but they were both completely covered. Keeping eye contact with Lucy, she reached down and took the bottom of her sweater in her hands, pulling it up over her head. She shrugged out of her bra, placing the sweater and bra on Lucy’s desk chair. Lucy smiled softly, following suit by removing her jacket and long sleeved dress shirt, placing them on the desk chair with Aimee’s clothes.

“I never realized that you don’t wear a bra, even–” Aimee stopped.

“Even what, beautiful one?” Lucy pressed, bringing her body up against Aimee’s, stroking her back as she kissed her neck.

“Even when it’s cold. I’ve never seen your nipples through your shirt, you’re always perfectly presentable.” Aimee smiled as Lucy’s lips explored her neck and shoulders.

“I think warm thoughts and keep myself warm and presentable,” Lucy said with a wink.

Aimee smiled, kissing Lucy again, running her tongue across Lucy’s bottom lip and sucking it into her mouth. She moved her hands from Lucy’s shoulders to her breasts, feeling the weight of them fill her hands. Lucy’s breasts were bigger than her own, and she had always wanted to know what it was like to cradle and caress breasts that didn’t leave her hands wanting more to play with.

Lucy allowed her hands to wander as Aimee played with her breasts, running her fingers over the skin of Aimee’s shoulders, arms, back, and stomach. She was surprised when Aimee’s fingers moved from her nipples to the clasp of her pants.

“I would like us both to get completely naked. I want to know for sure that this is what I want, because right now all I can think about is getting completely naked and cuddling with you skin to skin. I want to feel your curves against my body,” Aimee said, pausing with her hands on the clasp of Lucy’s pants as if she wanted to make sure she had her permission.

Lucy smilled and nodded, “Yes, bambina, I want that too.”

“Have you ever been with a woman before?”

“Once when I was eighteen. She was my best friend at the time.”

“Tell me about it?”

Lucy smiled, sadly this time. “Another time, bella.This time right now is for you and me.”

“Don’t want me getting any bad ideas, huh?” Aimee joked.

“You will know when I tell you why I wish to wait.” Lucy said, and allowed Aimee to remove her pants.

Aimee looked at Lucy’s body, tracing the soft lines with her eyes. She then realized, “You don’t wear underwear either?”

Lucy laughed. “No, love. I am comfortable with a little more freedom in my clothes.” She unbuttoned Lucy’s jeans, sliding them down those smooth legs, running her fingers over the lace that covered the softest part of her. Sliding her fingertips between the lace and Aimee’s skin, she guided the clothing to the floor.

“Can we just lay in your bed together before we do anything?” Aimee asked.

“Of course, my love. Anything you wish is yours.”

Lucy took Aimee’s hand and they stepped over to the bed, sliding under the thick comforters and the pristine white sheet. Lucy waited for Aimee to get comfortable, watching her shift and move into what seemed to be her favorite position on her side with one leg pulled up close to her body and the other stretched out straight and her arms cuddled into her chest. When Aimee stopped moving, Lucy moved right behind her, adopting the same position so their bodies were flush with each other. Lucy put one arm under Aimee’s neck and the other around her, making sure Aimee felt comforted and safe.

Aimee smiled to herself as she felt Lucy’s body against hers, noting how different it felt having soft breasts against her back instead of a man’s muscular chest and just the cradle of hips against her butt instead of something hard wanting to enter her. She liked it a lot, and didn’t feel any discomfort at knowing she was now lying with a female for the first time. She moved her arm down to her stomach when Lucy’s fingertips found her nipples, softly caressing them and gently pulling them when they peaked at the contact. Her heart was pounding in her chest, but she knew Lucy wouldn’t force her to do anything she didn’t want to do. But she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do or not to do. Part of her wanted to make this a cuddling-only date, but another part of her wanted to take the plunge and do everything today and make her decision.

Lucy continued to caress her, being careful not to be too rough. She wanted so badly to turn Aimee around to face her so she could give Aimee pleasure, but she was determined to practice self control and let Aimee dictate what happened. And then Aimee made a decision.

“Lucy?” Aimee asked softly, turning her head to make eye contact and touching her chin to her shoulder partly to be cute, and partly because she was feeling incredibly shy.

“Yes, my love?”

“I would like to touch you.”

“Anything you wish is yours, beautiful one.” Lucy repeated.

Aimee turned to face her lover, sliding her arm under Lucy’s and pulling her close. She kissed her, slowly at first and then with more passion. She caressed Lucy’s breasts with her free hand and then slowly moved it to her ribs, feeling them beneath that soft skin, rising and falling with every breath Lucy took. Sliding her hand down to Lucy’s hip, Aimee kept her eyes closed, breathing quickly and trying not to think too much. Finally, she found the space between Lucy’s thighs, enjoying the warmth that met her hand. Lucy shifted her leg up and exposed more of herself, and Aimee took advantage of it.

She gently touched the most sensitive part of her lover, drawing circles around the spot with the tip of her middle finger. Lucy took in a big breath, holding it as Aimee touched her. Aimee found that she was enjoying this as much as the other woman, feeling the familiar heat between her own legs rise. She wanted to see if her feelings were mirrored in her girlfriend, so she slowly moved her fingers from the top of her sex to the entrance she wanted to penetrate. Lucy tried to touch Aimee, but Aimee shook her head, saying, “I know how it feels to be pleasured, and if I keep my eyes closed it doesn’t seem different than what I’ve had before… I want to know I’m with you, and that means touching and pleasuring and exploring you first.”

Lucy nodded and relaxed, bringing her hand up to touch Aimee’s face as they kissed. Aimee felt how ready Lucy was for her, sliding two fingers over the entrance into her girlfriend’s body, enjoying how slick her fingers became. She teased Lucy, spreading that wetness around her skin and back up to her most sensitive spot and drawing more circles, smiling when Lucy’s breath caught in her throat and her body flexed. Slowly, she shifted her wrist and slid her fingers into that entrance, feeling Lucy’s body tighten around her fingers and her hips shift forward to meet Aimee’s touch.

Aimee experimented, trying what she had always wanted a man to do for her, sliding her fingers into and out of Lucy’s body at different angles and adding the extra touch of her thumb at the top of Lucy’s sex every once in awhile, learning what made Lucy’s body flex and her breath stop or a sudden gasp. The sound of the rain outside was their music, the thunder and lightning seeming to echo the passion the two women were creating. She wanted to know what it was like to make her lover climax, and she wanted to feel every reaction to it. She moved her lips from Lucy’s lips down to the tips of her breasts, gently sucking and drawing circles with her tongue, shifting from her side to leaning on her knees and one elbow. Lucy seemed on the edge of climaxing, and Aimee was ready to experience it, but one thing was missing.

Shifting once more, she kissed Lucy’s body in a trail from her breasts to her stomach to her hips, pausing there for a moment to gather her nerves. Finally, she opened her mouth and placed it on that sweet spot, making a gentle sucking motion as she caressed her from the inside. Lucy grabbed her shoulder, making a wonderful noise that made Aimee’s heart soar knowing that what she was doing was working. Aimee kept experimenting, moving her tongue in different patterns and sucking on different areas, feeling Lucy’s body tighten and heat up even more. Lucy held her breath for a moment, tightening her grip on Aimee’s shoulder, and Aimee couldn’t wait to know how similar Lucy’s climax was to her own. Just knowing that her lover was so close to the height of pleasure made her body tighten and she thought she could feel her own lubrication threatening to find its way to the inside of her thigh rather than staying in a neat pool. Just as that thought crossed her mind, Lucy made that noise again, letting her body flex and shift, placing Aimee’s touch right where it needed to be to continue the sensations. Aimee continued her experimenting with touch, but moved faster and used less pressure, knowing how sensitive her lover must be. She continued touching her lover long after her body began to relax, moving slower and slower but adding a bit more pressure to keep Lucy feeling that pleasure. After a few minutes, she slowly withdrew her fingers and shifted back to her place right up against her girlfriend’s body, holding Lucy as she continued to flex. She licked her lips, tasting the last bit of that lubrication that remained and finding that she had the fleeting thought to go back to its source and taste more of it.

Deciding against it, she laid there with her lover, thinking about the things she did and finding that she felt as if her heart was smiling, as it did when she knew everything was right. Both of them relaxed, not saying anything, and Aimee found herself very comfortably becoming sleepy. She closed her eyes, willing to succumb to the urge to fall asleep, but she felt Lucy move and before she opened her eyes, Lucy’s hand found the pool her body had produced, moving more quickly than Aimee had moved.

Lucy looked at the American, asking permission with her eyes. When she nodded, Lucy mimicked what her lover had done to her, finally getting to experience what she had hoped for since the moment on the beach when Aimee was in her arms crying. It was right for her to be with Aimee, she felt it in her soul. Their bodies fit perfectly with each other and they knew exactly what to do to the other to bring the most pleasure without a word.

Afterward, they lay cuddled in each other’s arms, facing each other with their legs intertwined. “Did you enjoy that, querida?” Lucy asked in a whisper.

“Baby, you have no idea. You made me feel like I’ve never felt before. I’ve always been afraid to ask a guy to do something I wanted because I didn’t want to seem pushy, but you knew all the right things to do. And I feel like I knew exactly what to do for you because I always wanted it done to me.”

“We seem to fit perfectly, that is true. But aside from the sensations, my love, what did you think about missing that piece of male anatomy and gaining the curves of female anatomy?”

“I’m not sure how I would feel about it with another female. But with you, it feels amazing. It feels right. And nothing was missing, because you’re my significant other, and being with you is still perfect.”

Lucy smiled at her, kissing her forehead. “I feel exactly the same way, my love.”