Regret? Remorse?

So I’m talking to my ex, right? And he tells me he was with someone who’s dating someone else. And he seems pretty okay with it. So I’m surprised that he would do that, considering he doesn’t like cheating; he begged me so much not to cheat on him, and yet he was with a taken girl and therefore involved in cheating as “the other party.” He says the girl wasn’t happy with her boyfriend anyway and she wasn’t planning on staying with him long, even though right now she’s still with him.

I’m trying to get him to see why I don’t like that he did what he did, because when I was dating him, the same thing happened with us, only I was the one who cheated because I had a male friend who was there for me to support me when my boyfriend wouldn’t.

I’m trying to decide whether to tell him that I was in the same situation he’s in right now. I hope I make the right decision… Wish me luck

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Daily Prompt: Moved To Tears– Raven Style

Okay, Okay, I know this prompt is a few days old, but I wanted to do this.

So once I was hanging out with my family in Addison, Texas when we were visiting my brother over spring break. We were all (four of us) piled on the small couch he had in his one bedroom apartment and we wanted to watch a movie. Someone was flipping through the channels while we waited for… I’m not sure but SOMEONE to get out of the bathroom. Then the channel-surfer came across one of those tele-concerts or whatever you call them where they play parts of a show or a concert and ask you to pay hundreds of dollars for one CD or — gasp! — a three CD set because it helps this organization or another.

We, being a family of musicians, settled on the channel and watched as Celtic Woman stood on stage at a huge Scottish castle (I believe it was Scottish) singing a bunch of songs and it was so beautiful.

Those women are incredibly talented and I’m usually not one to cry, especially when I’m filled with positive emotions, but tears filled my eyes and two escaped each eye to roll down my cheeks. I tried to hide it, of course, but I think I wasn’t the only one tearing up. I honestly couldn’t help it. Of course, I may have been getting close to my female time and that’s what set off the high probability of tears, but still. I did cry when I heard those clear, beautiful voices harmonizing and seeing the violinist dance as she played.

Thankful

So this is a post about how much I’m thankful for. I know plenty of people who have it better than me and multitudes who have it worse than me, so I figured I’d post about being thankful for things.

  1. I’m alive, 22 years old, and healthy. I had a minor heart complication in high school but we found out it was just stress-induced and I haven’t had much problem with it since I went to the cardiologist.
  2. I grew up with both parents who haven’t divorced each other (or much worse, haven’t passed away or been sick) and who raised me to be a respectful, productive member of society who tries not to exclude anyone from my respect.  
  3. I haven’t ever had the experience of WANTING anything. I mean, wanting a new shirt or minor stuff like that, of course, but not wanting something necessary like food, water, shelter, things like that. My parents always had more than enough to take care of me and my older brother, and although they did tell us “no” when we asked for something a lot of times, that made us better people who understood what it was to work for what we wanted.
  4. I inherited my mom’s car when I was sixteen years old. It happened because of an accident my dad was in when he was driving the car, but thankfully no one was hurt, the other party’s insurance paid for the repair because it was the other party’s fault, and I got the car after the repairs were finished and my mom got a brand new car. Not only did I get a car when I was sixteen and first had my license, but it’s a sports car– Mitsu Eclipse. And I still have that car to this day, although I’m planning on trading it in around December of this year.
  5. I graduated high school, community college, AND university. I have a student loan to pay for my two years at the university, but I was immensely lucky and I won a scholarship from the Wolslager Foundation that completely paid for my community college tuition. All I paid for at that time was gas for the car, and I actually think I had a little bit left over from that scholarship that I put toward the next semester of community college.
  6. In my first year at the university, my current boss called me out of the blue and offered me a temporary job with the company I now work for, to cover for the employees when they went on vacation. As time went on, she kept asking me back to cover for someone else and I earned good money doing it. When I graduated with my Bachelor’s degree, she hired me full time and that’s where I am now. I didn’t have to stress about looking for a job like most people do, and I’m paid slightly over minimum wage.
  7. I haven’t lost anyone I love or anyone I know personally due to sickness such as cancer or a serious accident or anything like that. In fact, I’ve been to many more weddings than I have been to funerals, and the funerals I have been to were those of people my parents tangentially knew, as far as I can remember.
  8. I have a boyfriend who cares about me a lot (I won’t call it love because we’ve only been together two months) and who takes care of me and has a plan for his future. Even if that plan takes him to a different city and it splits us up, I’ll be thankful because I experienced a great guy like he is. Also, I had a great boyfriend before my current one who did love me with all his heart, although he and I didn’t make it as a couple. But I am thankful for having experienced his love and loving him, while it lasted.

I’m sure there are about a million more things I can be thankful for– the simple pleasures in life like the way the desert smells after the rain, the rain itself, a nice fire in winter, watching a butterfly float on a summer breeze. But those are my biggest blessings and I am indescribably thankful to God for allowing me to enjoy a privileged life, and I hope never to let Him down after He has given me all these wonderful things and continues to give them to me.

I hope this post touches you or at least reminds you that there are some things to be thankful for, even in the darkest part of your life. One of my friends told me this when I was down once, and if you’re in a dark spot in your life I hope it helps you:

It is always darkest before the dawn.

I’m not sure who said that quote or where it came from, but it helped me through a down time and I’d like to pass it on. And I hope you might try to make a list of things you’re thankful for, no matter how short it is, because even one blessing is worthy of gratitude.

(Daily Prompt: Smell You Later) Raven-style

The smell of leather brings me back. Well… not just leather, although Wilson’s stores always take me out of the present. But the leather of a cop’s utility belt mixed with the smell of his uniform (you know how cop uniforms smell, and I’m not talking like bacon!) always makes me think of my dad. The details are in my post, https://fordgt40fencer.wordpress.com/2013/08/06/state-trooper-and-his-daughter/ 

But that smell is definitely one of my favorites!

Get to Know Me by Movies

I saw this post on http://trihanaezradinjasmine.wordpress.com/2013/08/08/get-to-know-me-by-movies/ and I thought I would take a whack at it.

The Princess Diaries: What would you do if you had your own kingdom?

*** Oh, the list that comes to mind. Actually, I can’t think of anything right off the top of my head. Go me. Ummm… For sure fix the problems I see in my own government. But the biggest thing is to ENFORCE DRIVING/ROAD ETIQUETTE.

Titanic: Tell us an unforgettable story about your ex/current boyfriend/girlfriend.

*** Unforgettable, huh? I don’t really like to go out and do all kinds of crazy stuff, so the things that come to mind are mostly romantic things. I think the most romantic thing though would be when Ex #1 brought me flowers when he was trying to get me to break up with (now) Ex #2.

Mean Girls: Did you ever have a crush on a popular guy at school?

***Of course I did. I think there’s someone in every school that everyone has a crush on. But I was always too shy to get anywhere close to him.

27 dresses: Upload a picture of your most favorite clothing.

*** I can’t find a picture and I’m at work so I’m not about to get on facebook. But my favorite thing to wear is a band shirt (usuallly Avenged Sevenfold) and jeans.

Sydney White: Would you ever join a sorority/fraternity?

***No. I’m not a prissy little bitch who likes to drink to the point of passing out instead of studying and I don’t like to trash another girl just because I don’t like her shoes.

Hachi: a dog’s tale: tell us a story about your pet.

***It took me seven years to convince my mom to let me get a dog. We looked at the rescue shelters and found my little girl and fell in love with her and I’m going to be seriously depressed when she dies (hopefully not for several more years)

The Social Network: Three websites you can’t go on a day without logging on to.

***Yahoo, WordPress, CapitalOne360.com

Twilight: Someone you would risk your life for?

***Family of course. The boyfriend. And a few select friends.

The Avengers: Tell us about a friend who saved your life.

***It wasn’t a near death experience, but once I had a friend who totally tore up her shirt so I could wrap my hand with it after I fell and gashed my hand.

50 First Dates: Tell us a story about your most perfect date.

***It was the first date I had with my current boyfriend, actually. He picked me up, looking amazing, took me (and taught me how to) salsa dancing, then we came back to the park that’s near my house, sat in his backseat with the convertible top down. He let me cuddle with him and we talked for hours (literally, hours, we were there between like 11pm and 4 am) about nothing and everything.

The Hangover: Tell us a funny drunk story of yours.

***I’ve only been drunk once, (I’ve been buzzed but not drunk) and it was at my current boyfriend’s house and we didnt’ really do much other than cuddling.

She’s the Man: If you could switch gender for a day, what would you do?

***Well, I do a lot of male-oriented activities like shooting and all that stuff anyway, but I think I would probably see how much more alcohol my body could tolerate, find out what it’s like to be able to pee wherever you want to and fix my car… just cuz it seems like that’s just ingrained into the Y chromosome to automatically know how to fix a car. (not in that particular order).

17 Again: What would you tell to your 17 year old self?

*** Don’t give up your innocence so easily. It really isn’t worth it. It feels more empty than anything else when you dont’ truly care about the person you’re with.

John Tucker Must Die: Someone broke your heart, would you break theirs?

***I’d try. And then I’d get bored and just move on.

The Breakfast Club: What do people label you?

***I get called “biker chick” a lot. Probably “bitch” until they get to know me.

Juno: Pro choice/Pro life

***”I’m Pro choice. I believe in freedom and doing what you think is best for you and the people around you no matter what other people’s opinion might be.” that’s what the previous poster wrote. And I believe the same.

American Pie: Tell a story about your first time.

***Losing my virginity? Kinda private, don’tcha think?

Scream: If you and your friends had a sleepover and a serial killer was inside, who would most likely be the first to die?

***The serial killer. At my hands. Thank you, gun that I bought for my 21st birthday.

Freaky Friday: First thing you would say or do when you woke up as your mother.

***Wow. I honestly have no clue.

I Know What You Did Last Summer: Tell us a fun story about your last summer.

*** I don’t really do much that’s fun…. thank you El Paso for having not many fun things to do.

Question about Running

Have you tried watching an episode of your favorite TV show while you’re on the treadmill/elliptical/bike? (At the gym, not while out running at a park!)

My problem with running is my endurance. I can sprint like a mofo, super fast and super hard, but not for very long. Maybe the distance of….. 200 yards? I’m not sure, I’m not good with judging distance. But I need to be able to keep a solid jogging pace for a mile and a half and right now I can jog for about a quarter of a mile.

I tried getting on an elliptical machine yesterday, and it seems to help with my endurance because I guess I can start my jogging pace and go longer because it’s smooth motion, but I got really frustrated because that machine doesn’t know distance very well.

So my question is: do you think it might help if I were to distract myself with a TV show and just keep up my pace, not looking at the distance meter until the show was over? I REALLY need help with building my endurance so anything that might help me is great!!

Daily Prompt: (YAWN) Raven-style

What bores me.

  1. Surprisingly: action movies bore me for the most part. I feel like most of the time it’s just about how much CGI we can put in when we “blow up” a city or who can have the most masculine heroes / biggest boobs and tiniest waists on heroines and how much we can make explosions out of. YAWN.
  2. Chick flicks bore me for the most part. Boy meets girl, one of them screws up and loses the other, they meet up again sometime in the future, they fall in love again and realize that love can overcome mistakes. YAWN.
  3. As bad as it sounds…… sometimes church bores me. I feel like you don’t really have to go and listen to someone telling you a real-life example of one of the ways to live that comes from the Bible to know God. He’s always there, you can talk to Him whenever. Yes, some church analogies are really inspiring or they  hit home really nicely, but for the most part: YAWN.
  4. Drama bores me. If you really don’t like someone or something someone is doing, just go find someone else to talk to. I admit, sometimes I do just want to fight it out, and that’s different because I’m involved. But when two+ other people are arguing or trying to get me to pick a side, I just want to go and do something that interests me. Until there’s a physical girlfight. Those are AWESOME to watch.
  5. It actually bores me to see all the celebrity news. They’re normal people, too, just trying to live their lives. If they’re doing something stupid, leave them alone and they might stop it. I’m sure most of the stupid things celebrities do is just because they’re starved for attention and if you quit giving them attention, they’ll become functioning members of society again.

 

So that’s a little snippet of Raven’s List of Things that Bore Me. AKA, that’s all that comes to mind at the moment.    🙂